Ditchfork

Things That Are Wrong

2008-11-28T20:27:00.003Z

Women's Lib

2008-11-28T20:25:00.002Z

LOL ROFL LMAO ETC

2008-11-28T15:23:00.000Z

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Recommend this article. 16673 Flocks so far

Flock It!

Flashing The Flesh. Or Not...

2008-11-23T22:17:00.004Z

I know you've already seen this on Kanye's blog...

But still....

Catsmas Is Coming

2008-11-23T15:43:00.003Z

Trippyest shit ever

Totally creepy, yet utterly hypnotic.

Photoshop Of The Day

2008-11-10T15:18:00.003Z

This is rumoured to be Whitney Houston's new album cover

Prizes for anyone who can guess whose body / face / hair was used to make this particular picture of 'Whitney' - because it sure as hell wasn't her!

Just. Plain. Wrong.

2008-11-05T17:47:00.003Z

Spooky Dogs

2008-11-05T17:46:00.004Z

Pissing Money Away

2008-11-05T17:40:00.002Z

A little industry news for you:

So, The EMI Group managed to lose £757 million in its last financial year, and another £287 million loss the previous year.

Wow.

That's pretty impressive...

Could these possibly be contributing factors?
5 amusing (or terrifying) facts about EMI in 2007 courtesy of the Maltby report and the Financial Times…

1. 88 per cent of its artists make a loss.

2. Some employees were paid in the past at salaries that were double market rates or higher.

3. Almost 50 per cent of CDs were returned unsold in April and May 2007

4. More than £700,000 was spent by EMI on taxis in London in the past year (it was the fourth biggest taxi account in London behind three investment banks with much bigger workforces).

5. EMI Music Publishing accounted for more than 100 per cent of EMI’s earnings in 2007, which I’m not sure even makes sense.

Now I'm hardly reknowned for my business brain, but even I can see that something doesn't quite add up here...

Hmmmm

It Was All A Dream....

2008-11-05T17:39:00.001Z

OK so I'm a little slow - OK a lot slow on this one... But I'm pretty excited.

I just wish I'd seen it before Halloween - it would have inspired me to dress up as Lil Kim just for the LOLs

Next year. Next year....

From My Raving Days!

2008-10-30T10:20:00.004Z

Ex HIV Positive...?

2008-10-28T13:20:00.002Z

2008-10-27T16:47:00.002Z

Banjo player Eddie Adcock recently had brain surgery where surgeons installed deep brain stimulator electrodes to control a tremor in his right hand. Patients are sometimes kept awake during brain surgery to interact with the surgeon and help guide the procedure. In Adcock's case, he played the banjo as the surgeon worked. From Eddie and Martha Adcock's site:

Now you can truly call Eddie Adcock the Bionic Banjo Player --and don't forget Gearhead Guitarist-- as he recovers from some remarkable brain surgeries to control a right-hand tremor.

The three-part surgery, termed Deep Brain Stimulation, involved implantation of electrodes into the brain as well as insertion of a palm-sized battery-powered generator within the chest wall, plus lead wires to connect the two. The technologically-advanced procedure was performed in multiple stages over the month of August in Nashville, Tennessee, at Vanderbilt Medical Center, a teaching and research hospital which is a world leader in neurological studies and surgeries.

Those neurosurgeons were eager to operate on Eddie, with his life-long high level of musical accomplishment and the unique requirements related to his fine motor skills. During the brain-implantation stage of the surgery, he was kept conscious in order to be able to play his Deering GoodTime banjo and assist the team of surgeons in directing the fine-tuning of their placement of electrodes in the brain -- an operating-room 'first'.

According to Eddie, "I came up in music the hard way and learned to be a trouper fast. Some of those early days were pretty rough, and I've been stomped, cut and kicked; but I never went through hell like this -- it was the most painful thing I've ever endured. And it was risky. But I did it for a reason: I'm looking forward to being able to play music the way I did years ago prior to getting this tremor. It means that much to me. I'm far from being done!"

Brain surgery and the banjo player (Thanks, Sean Ness!)

http://tinyurl.com/5mwbmh

www.boingboing.net

Aaron Ruell

2008-10-21T14:57:00.001+01:00

Super LOLs

2008-10-16T14:39:00.003+01:00

Am I the only one who finds this really funny?

Am I immature?

Clown Shoes

2008-10-16T13:52:00.001+01:00

Nike Blazer High NBA

Is it wrong not to like these?

I think they look like Clown Shoes.

Does this mean I'm getting old?

Help!

No Homo

2008-10-14T12:12:00.003+01:00

I don't know why, but I find this strangely appealing & somewhat hypnotic

Cyber Love

2008-10-14T11:51:00.003+01:00

Sometimes Fan Made videos really suck.
This one doesn't.

Hot Chip covering Marvin Gaye's steamy classic "Sexual Healing"

The Ghost of Internet Past

2008-10-02T12:37:00.003+01:00

O Hai!

Are you a bit bored?

Time to kill...?

Rather than surfing the web for lolcats or porn, why not try googling the past? To celebrate their 10th birthday Google have re-released their web search from January 2001. So if you want to see what the words "ipod", "myspace" or even "Osama Bin Laden" meant to us back then go to:

http://www.google.com/search2001.html

Now You See Me, Now You... Umm, Still Do

2008-09-29T23:26:00.005+01:00

OH EM GEEEEZ!

This is why I want to live in Japan:

They come up with awesome / awesomely bad ideas like these...

So. A skirt which, with a quick twist, becomes a 'vending machine'.
Thus totally fooling any would-be muggers (duh, they can't find you!)

Step 1

Step 2.

TA-DA!

Grandad Derek

2008-09-29T16:38:00.002+01:00

PART I

DJ Derek pt. 1 from Jamie Foord on Vimeo.

PART II

DJ Derek pt. 2 from Jamie Foord on Vimeo.

Wowee!

2008-09-28T00:28:00.000+01:00

Oh That's What's Up

2008-09-28T00:06:00.003+01:00

Boys who ride BMXes are like sooo sexie

Skavenger Pop Off... Mini Vid... Off Pop from Defgrip on Vimeo.

Buffness.

If I dated a boy who rode a BMX I'd feel like the coolest girl in the world.

Epic Fail

2008-09-25T11:41:00.004+01:00

Which bright spark thought it would be a good idea to put up this

in this particular spot?

Not a particularly sensitive media buy... But funny nonetheless

Well If This Doesn't Cheer You Up....

2008-09-22T16:43:00.001+01:00

Possibly the happiest chaps in the world.... If I was going to share a cab I would want it to be with these guys - I bloody love a sing-a-long!

Most. Fun. Ever

2008-09-22T16:05:00.002+01:00

Oh, Now I Get It....

2008-09-17T12:58:00.004+01:00

I never got Bon Iver until now.

I was sent this & it's beaut.

Bon Iver & Bowerbirds cover Sarah Siskind's "Lovin's for Fools" at the Bowery Ballroom, New York, on July 29, 2008

It's about a woman telling her husband to be with his mistress.
Emotional stuff.

Horrendous!

2008-09-12T16:55:00.002+01:00

Oh God this is awful.
Truly.
An abortion of a song.

Kanye West - 'Love Lockdown'

I mean I kind of see where he was going with it, the concept in fairness, is cool...
Only 1) 'Ye can't sing 2) Autotune is Waaay played out (thanks T-Pain) & 3) It's just really shit

I hope KanYe doesn't come & unleash his "Give a black man a chance" rant on me for this post...
?

President Palin...?

2008-09-11T13:49:00.002+01:00

WTF??

Matt Damon's started talking sense?
Since when did that ever happen?

In this video he actually raises some really important points... It pretty much struck terror into my heart whilst managing to make me LOL at the same time. Impressive.

My Hero!

2008-09-10T22:51:00.003+01:00

Dr Brian Cox.

I'll say it again, Dr Brian Cox.

Mmmmmm.....

He is my hero for many many reasons, however this quote from him today made me resurrect my MASSIVE crush on him:

"anyone who thinks the LHC will cause the end of the world is a twat"

So. The Large Hadron Collider experiment. Something of an anti-climax, no...?

Personally I think its one of the most, perhaps not exciting, but certainly intriguing things my generation will play a part in. It has the potential to revolutionise the way we view view the world - or rather, the universe. Clearly not too many people are quite as interested in it as I am, but I've always been a massive science geek & find shit like this fascinating...

Anyway, the world hasn't imploded. Yet... But this is one project I'll be keeping an eye on.

Not least because one of the scientists involved in the programme is the dishy Dr Brian Cox, what a hottie! Ha! He's so beaut & sweet & smart. I am hopelessly in love with him
*sigh*

Telemegaphone

2008-09-10T22:22:00.003+01:00

Ever wanted to get things of your chest?

Run to the top of a mountain and scream down at everybody below?

Well now you can (sort of) & it's all thanks to an art project by some company called 'Unsworn'.
"The Telemegaphone automatically answers incoming phone calls and broadcasts them across a fjord in idyllic Western Norway down to the remote town of Dale. The project addresses Blah Blah Blah Innovative, provocative and exciting, the Telemegaphone is just plain old fun. Enjoy."

Well who hasn't wished for something a little like this after a hard day's slog at the office...?

Right. I'm off to make that call....

Here it is in all it's, ummm, glory >

The Voice Of An Angel

2008-08-26T11:56:00.003+01:00

Oh Britney, Britney, Britney...

While we were never resting under the illusion that you were in possesion of The World's Greatest Singing Voice TM, this is still kind of atrocious:

I mean yeah, my voice would sound pretty shitty too if I was all out of breath. But then I don't earn millions of dollars from CD sales...

Shafted

2008-08-12T13:03:00.002+01:00

Sad news that Sientologist Isaac Hayes died this week. Why couldn't it have been Tom Cruise instead...?

Hair Care

2008-08-12T13:00:00.003+01:00

There's been a whole load of controversy over THAT L'Oreal advert featuring Beyonce... Not a good look by the way L'Oreal. You gave her jaundice. The yellowest picture I've ever seen...

However at least it detracts from the fact that they used a picture of a woman wearing some front lace wig to promote hair care products (natural hair care products)

False advertising surely...?

Joy Division

2008-08-05T15:00:00.001+01:00

Out 25th August. Just in time for my birthday.

Put A Donk On It

2008-08-05T14:37:00.004+01:00

The Blackout Crew: So appalling, I think they just gave my ears cancer

Kind of funny though...

"Fat as hell without cellulite / & I look well sick in a UV light"

!!!

Weezy :: Remixed

2008-08-04T12:59:00.001+01:00

Please allow his horrendous outfit as he is clearly a very talented boy

...although waaay too much time on his hands!

Man needs to get LAID

Barack The Magnificent

2008-08-01T12:30:00.001+01:00

Wow.

Sometimes a piece of music will come along that touches you so deeply your life is changed forever. This could be one of those moments...

So you're American & are preparing to vote in the upcoming presidential elections - what do you do? Research your candidate's policies maybe...? Wrong.
For all those swing voters who haven't quite made up their minds, this is sure to convince you.

Dutttywiiiiiiiiiiine!

Mighty Sparrow: Barack The Magnificent

Kate Bush

2008-07-30T14:16:00.004+01:00

It's one of my favourite artist's birthday today

Kate Bush turns (whisper it) fifty

Here's a picture of her looking pretty awesome

and not so awesome...

Ah I don't mean it, she's still the best!

Happiness...

2008-07-30T14:13:00.002+01:00

It's the simple things in life: Whiskers on kittens... Bright copper kettles... Warm woolen mittens... Oh, & dogs playing theremins.

MARS plays Theremin

This makes me happy. That really is all it takes.

LOL

2008-07-13T14:49:00.003+01:00

OK, there's a site called postsecret (postsecret.blogspot.com) & every Sunday they put up postcards that readers have made with their deepest darkest secrets on. I saw this on it today & it made me laugh out loud :-D

Now that is some wierd shit!

The Worst Thing I've Ever Seen. Ever.

2008-07-13T14:26:00.003+01:00

Courtesy of thesaurus.com:

horrendous. Bloodcurdling, hair-raising, horrid, horrific, abhorrent, abominable, appalling, atrocious, awful, cruel, despicable, detestable, dire, dreadful, excruciating, execrable, fearful, formidable, ghastly, grim, grisly, gruesome, harrowing, heinous, hideous, loathsome, mean, nasty, nefarious, obnoxious, repulsive, revolting, shocking, terrible, ugly, unbearable, ungodly, unpleasant, unspeakable, vile, lurid, macabre

What kind of pervert would wear this shit??!

I'm assuming they handed over money for them. This is how you know you do waaaay too many drugs.

How I Spend My Evenings

2008-07-13T14:23:00.003+01:00

So here's how I spend my evenings: Going to gigs.

These are some of my most recent pictures >>>>

The Futureheads

Metronomy

Golden Silvers

Young Knives

Pivot

Wild Beasts

they get two pictures because they're so lovely...

Barringtone

Liam Finn

Hercules & Love Affair

Jay-Z

This is how close I was....front row you know!

...and with a little zoom...

Foals

Shit photo - I got there too late to get a decent place to stand :-(

Black Kids

And coming up in the next couple of weeks I have >>>

Liam Finn (again), Esser, Jeremy Warmsley & So So Modern on the Transgressive Summer Tour
Wetdog Album Launch
Lovebox
Wild Beasts (again)
Micachu

Homesick? Me...?

2008-07-04T16:38:00.002+01:00

Hmmm. There's a strong possibilty that I may be feeling a little homesick today...
Why else would I be scouring You Tube for this >>>

I can confirm that that is how all Geordies dance. Fact.

Rather than sending us to ballet classes or to some lovely stage school, we are perched atop Byker Wall, given several bottles of White Lightning (Lambrini if you're posh) & have lit tabs thrown at our feet til these particularly awesome moves are honed to perfection.

Don't be jealous.

One more from Benwell Raving Crew >>>

HA!

Here, that's better than Riverdance like...

OK so one more video which I would like to dedicate to my home town:
It's Uncle Buzzcocks!

More lethal than a spakka with a bag of pills!

5HTP For The Ears

2008-07-04T15:21:00.004+01:00

This >>>

In the last week I must have had all of, oooh 5 hours sleep?

There's only one thing for it. It's time to crack open the Kate Bush.

The video for Wuthering Heights never fails to perk me up. So whenever I'm tired, hungover & hating my life I pay a visit to good old You Tube

Obviously it's even more enjoyable when you are able to throw on a wedding dress, bust out some dance moves & have a little singalong too... but I'll save that for when i get home....

Bette

2008-07-01T00:12:00.001+01:00

Doesn't this picture make you just want to kill yourself because you will never be like her...?

Plus I just read this: (on The Lipster, where else?)

"Bette was the vanguard of celebrity bitchin’ with her ongoing sparring-partner Joan Crawford. When asked why she avoided Crawford at parties, Bette replied: "You hang around that woman long enough and you'll pick up all kinds of useless shit." And, famously, "She's slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie." It's even rumoured that she had a Coca-Cola machine installed on the set of ...Baby Jane as a dig at Crawford, whose husband, a CEO of Pepsi, had just died. Take that, Paris and Nicole"

Ok, so maybe the coke machine was taking it a little far, but still way more interesting than the never ending Bland spewed out by many of Hollywood's current 'stars'

Disco 2000

2008-07-01T00:11:00.001+01:00

Not all cover versions are bad
This one is good
Very good

Makes me wish my name was Deborah...

re: Good Cover Versions - may I also recommend Candi Statton 'Stand By Your Man', The Slits 'Heard It Through The Grapevine' & errr..... Boyzone 'Father & Son'?

Actually, no wait. Forget that last one....

The Pitter Patter Of Tiny... Stillettos...?

2008-07-01T00:09:00.000+01:00

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.... Maybe both?

Sold with the tag line:
"Now baby girls can really kick up their heels!"

So I dunno if this is really wrong or really fun, but I'm going to post anyway. There's been a whole load of drama about 'the sexualisation of babies', but looking at the picture above I don't think that really rings true - to me it's just a bit of silliness. However that may just be because I don't have a maternal bone in my body...

Who knows. Who cares.

Big Bad Wolf

2008-07-01T00:08:00.000+01:00

Grrrrr

Best. Toy. Ever

2008-07-01T00:07:00.001+01:00

I'm killing myself that I wasn't in the US over April & that I wasn't munching on a McDonalds....

Meet New Wave Nigel

Given away as a part of McDonalds' American Idol promotion it's pretty much Devo in your pocket. Which beats even the Hello Kitty pen holder I got from the Golden Arches last time I was in the states. Ugh, it even plays a little tune.... The US gets way cooler toys than us.

Anyway the story behind it is that, yes it is a blatant rip off of Devo & that, yes Devo are now suing.

All I care about is how much these bad boys are selling for on Ebay & how soon they can be shipped

Hollywood Misogyny

2008-06-17T14:11:00.002+01:00

I read this news story today & it absolutely disgusted me.
I understand fully the importance of aesthetics in the media - however this reeks of playground bullying...
Plus what really riles me is that these 'Image-Nazis' direct their bile almost soley at women

"... HEROES star ALI LARTER was once treated like an outcast on a film set after discovering how cruel Hollywood can be to an actress who gains weight.
The sexy star admits producers and directors stopped talking to her after she piled on the pounds while shooting a film on location.
She tells the new issue of Allure magazine, "The faxes went out from the producers and the director to my agents to my manager to call me and ask me to lose weight.
"I just remember sitting in my trailer hysterically crying from the embarrassment I felt about myself, my body - and that no one could talk to me directly." ...."

I don't really know or care who Ali Larter is - I don't even know if she's particularly overweight - but I do know that this is a pretty despicable way to treat a human being.
I think what's most insulting is the cowardly way they went about it...

"producers and directors stopped talking to her"

Seriously...?! Since when were eight year old girls directing movies...?

Were this any other industry they would have been slapped with some fat lawsuit for workplace bullying

Hollywood is the best!

Cover Artwork

2008-06-17T11:59:00.006+01:00

Despite doing nothing more exciting last night than stocking up on macaroni cheese ready meals at Sainsburys, I am so tired today I feel like my eyes are going to fall out

In an effort to perk myself up I decided to do a little research into album artwork:

Here are some of the finest examples of graphic design & photography I could find >>>

Oh yeah

Speechless.

.............

This last one I found funny before I even noticed what was going on in the picture - or read the title for that matter. I just liked that it was captioned "Truly A Miracle Of God" & had a picture of a happy old lady on it... When I realised the true extent of the whole entire wrongness of it I had to pick myself up off the floor

I like to imagine she's called Marjorie, has a never ending supply of biscuits & gives good hugs

Swoon...

2008-06-16T11:54:00.008+01:00

Quite often when you hear someone who sounds really great on record they turn out to be something of a disappointment live. Such is the power of auto-tune.

Thankfully this was not the case when I went to see Wild Beasts on Friday

It's all quite embarassing really, but I was stood at the front for the whole gig & I was just swooning over the dude with the falsetto voice - I must have looked a bit creepy as the guitarist kept shooting me funny looks, as if to say "stop perving on my friend". I was literally just staring at him with this big stupid grin on my face...

His voice is really incredible though, it was like having Mariah Carey in the room... But good. Oh & he had to go & make it even harder for me by wearing the best outfit: Faded Levis jacket, little rolled up shorts & some big 'bovver boots' (as my Grandma Nell used to call them)

sigh

What a dreamboat

So I've been swooning over him all weekend, & am trying to get one of my friends to hook us all up on a double date - I don't even really want to go out with him though, I'd just like to be his best friend & do his hair & buy him clothes & maybe have slumber parties & have him sing to me....

Anyway.... everyone else stayed behind to talk to them afterwards but I felt far too shy & had to leave. I really struggle to talk to boys I like - I just can't do it... Plus I was supposed to be meeting my friend Suzie & knew she'd scream blue murder at me for being late (again)

ps - when I did an image search for Wild Beasts on google this rather amazing picture came up. It gave me lols >>>

Awwwww

What Could Be Worse?

2008-06-16T11:46:00.003+01:00

So. What could be worse than standing directly behind a man whose hairy neck is covered in sweat? On a Monday morning. In a packed tube.

I imagine that this is the worst thing that's happened to anyone ever... Probably

The only thing in the world that could possibly be worse is having to lick said neck

ugh

N Is For...

2008-06-12T17:21:00.002+01:00

NAS

The album cover is deep

I can't even begin to express how much I love Nas.

So I wont even try...

You can just watch his new video instead > > >

Hole In The Wall

2008-06-05T16:15:00.005+01:00

Warning: Sleeping with me can be bad for your health

I just don't know my own strength.
I managed to do this whilst asleep > > >

SHIT.

I kicked a hole in my bedroom wall last night.
I woke from a bad dream at 4am this morning with a sharp pain in my foot. Despite being scared & in pain I was too tired to care & swiftly drifted back off to sleep.
I had been dreaming that there was an intruder in my room leaning over my bed & I kicked out at them in my sleep. Hard. I was vaguely aware that I'd made contact with something but had no idea what until I woke up this morning with a fat dent in my wall. I'm so not getting my deposit back...

But let this be a warning!
Try to break into my house & I will kick the shit out of you.
Serious!

Wild Beasts

2008-06-05T15:39:00.002+01:00

If you don't get it at first KEEP LISTENING!
So worthwhile

I admit that the first time I heard this band I didn't like them
Second play I was like "Well actually... This is good"
By the third play of the album I was truly converted!
Wild Beasts are amazing!

That guy with the 'tache has the most beautiful soaring vocals & the album is packed with just brilliant songs

Officially recommended.

This Is Pretty Awesome

2008-06-03T16:01:00.001+01:00

little boots & mrs chinaski cover girls aloud sexy no no no

Awesome? Yes yes yes

No Tina - You're The Best!

2008-06-03T15:40:00.002+01:00

I have a lot of love for Tina Turner (or as my childhood self would say, Tina Tuna!) - ever since I saw 'What's Love Got To Do With It' she has had a special place in my heart. She is simply the best. (har har)

Ahem

So today I was feeling horribly tired & hungover & needed to get me some kind of quick fix. But who should a girl turn to in these times of need? Why, Aunty Tina, of course!

This video cheered me right up > > >

She dances like me!

I also thought I'd throw this one in for your viewing pleasure as well > > >

Check out the girl in the blue dress - she gives me lols :-)

But is it wrong that I'm totally attracted to Laurence Fishbourne (is that the correct spelling??) in this film? You know what with him playing an *alleged* wife beater & all....?

Hmmm

South Isn't Fly? Are you sure...?

2008-05-26T15:33:00.003+01:00

Now there is a rather vicious rumour that South London is not a particularly stylish area... I disagree.

Take a look at the picture below > > >

Lets take a closer look > > >

Oh that's right, he is wearing a Do The Right Thing jacket. And not just any jacket. Its leather & suede & colourful & I'm waiting for the day he takes it to the charity shop so I can have it!
I see him walking round the Ends all the time & I finally managed to get a photo of him... BUT as I took my camera out to get the photo this amazing looking woman?? stepped out of a shop & I just had to get a picture of these two Style Heavyweights together!

Now try telling me people in South aren't fly!

JAWS

2008-05-20T22:22:00.002+01:00

The latest outing in the "Jaws" franchise is a little low on budget....

Not Really!

It's actually the debut video from new Warp signing Pivot

A-Trizzy

2008-05-20T14:38:00.002+01:00

I swear this is 100% genuine > > >

This is the actual cover artwork for an A-Trak record.

It's the Canadian boxers that crack me up. And the Thug Life tattoo. Oh and the superimposed picture of Chromeo's Dave 1 as a teen.
Well just the whole thing really...

It really is the best thing I've seen this week

Apparently it's being re-issued, so with a little hard work searching your local record store you too could be the proud owner of Gangsta Breaks

Now, I may be taking the piss a little, but it's still pretty much guaranteed to be an amazing mix, so I need to shut my mouth :-)

My New Boyfriend

2008-05-20T14:18:00.002+01:00

I wish....

BAD KIDS - AHHHHHHH!

2008-05-08T13:43:00.002+01:00

I must be feeling a little rebellious at the moment as this is my second post this week featuring naughty children. Am I perhaps releasing my latent aggression via the medium of video posts...? Hmmm, that's one for the psychiatrist I think

ps - I think (but I can't be certain due to the poor lighting) that the final shot is of a little Geordie wearing an old skool McEwans lager Newcastle shirt... Why is it always us causing the most trouble? *shakes head*

Revolutionary Women

2008-05-06T16:25:00.002+01:00

I really cannot recommend The Lipster (www.thelipster.com) enough - it's a brilliant website
I recently featured another article of theirs regarding the BNP's views on rape, but here we have a slightly more positive post > > >

http://www.thelipster.com/articles/3231257

It actually isn't a feminist site, those just happen to be my favourite features...

So take a look at their compilation of Revolutionary Women

Stick that where your history book don't shine!

Street Menace

2008-05-02T20:12:00.004+01:00

So the new Grand Theft Auto was released this week & as an ode to Street Menaces I decided to post this in it's honour > > >

justice stress (official video)
Uploaded by 75_prod

Apparently it is a commentary on society's disfunction. Whatever, I just like their jackets....

In further GTA news, my flatmate was given this last week > > >

A GTA flavoured X Box - Yay!

Liam Finn Is The Bomb!

2008-04-18T15:57:00.004+01:00

Liam Finn - 'Second Chance'

Check out the end of the video when he gets on the drums

This guy is great!

I'm permanently on his myspace having an aural perv over his tracks

He is not to be mistaken for 'Middlesbrough's Finest' some-other-Liam-Finn.
It's an easy mistake to make - we sent over a plan for him with this other dude's picture emblazoned across the front: His management were like ' err, great report - but that's not Liam Finn...'

I'm planning on going to see him on 28th April at Water Rats in London
I will sell a kidney if it means I get to go. Seriously. For like, a dollar fifty... (roughly 75p)

My two favourite songs are Second Chance & Gather to the Chapel

I also love him because on his myspace he compares himself to a leprechaun. I like leprechauns because they remind me of my (always absent) grandpa Jerry - who lived up to every Irish stereotype going by being a drinking,gambling, womaniser. But that's another issue for another time.

http://www.myspace.com/theliamfinn

I'm In Love With Sebastien

2008-04-10T17:22:00.003+01:00

This is France's entry to the Eurovision Song Contest

He is also one of my favourite artists at the moment

Oh that white suit is so fly....

Sex. God.

Oh So Excited

2008-04-10T15:42:00.003+01:00

As I write this I am in a heightened state of excitement

My rather fabulous cousin is coming to stay with me this weekend & she is just the most fun in the world. Whenever we get together there's trouble: throw in a Chromeo gig, a Vice party, '50s style bowling & illegal substances & you just can't quite predict what will be going down. Although inane giggling at the slightest thing is always a given....

Here is a picture of us on our birthday > > >

Just before we had a food fight on the tube....

I absolutely cannot wait for the Chromeo gig either - they are always fun. I also have a special style of dancing that I only do to Chromeo's tunes. It's a bit spazzy but it makes me happy :-)

Here I am 'hanging out' with Dave 1 > > >

That was a funny night, we ended up in some basement club rapping along to DMX *cringe*

I think you understand why I have high hopes for this weekend.
I just hope that I don't get over excited for it to all go horribly wrong.
Oh well, only time will tell....

Stay Posted!

The Worst Video

2008-04-09T15:28:00.003+01:00

This > > >

is not a good video.

However, this > > >

Is magnificent!

Wiley 'Wearing My Rolex' is making me very happy right now :-)

Borrowed - No, STOLEN - From The Lipster.com

2008-04-03T12:57:00.003+01:00

The Lipster is an excellent new(ish) site which is aimed at women who like music - funnily enough there aren't that many female-oriented music sites out there - & it is very good.

Anyway

I just read an article on there that made my jaw drop to the floor!

It goes a little something like this > > >

"BNP in 'rape not so bad' row
by Leonie Cooper
Words: Leonie Cooper
Posted: 02 Apr '08, 14:42
If you thought the BNP just hated foreigners, then you'd be wrong - they hate women too. The scribe behind a far right blog called Sir John Bull (it's still up, but we're not linking to it) who in 2005 wrote such hate-mongering trash such as the below, has been outed, and not before time:

"I've never understood why so many men have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the feminazi myth machine into believing that rape is such a serious crime ... Rape is simply sex. Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal."

"To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting that forcefeeding a woman chocolate cake is a heinous offence. A woman would be more inconvenienced by having her handbag snatched."

"The demonisation of rape is all part of the feminazi desire to obtain power and mastery over men. Men who go along with the rape myth are either morons or traitors."

He also described working women as "unnatural and vile... it is a strange kind of woman who would want to invest [her] energies into her job rather than into a man."

Now pick your jaws back up off the floor, and we'll continue. The Standard did a bit of digging and found out that the blog was the work of one Nick Eriksen, a man who, until a few hours ago, was the second highest on the BNP's list for the London Assembly. Unfortunately for him, even the BNP thought it was a bit much, and removed him from their list of candidates.

Eriksen had by this point responded to the Standard, saying he was being "deliberately proactive". He then managed to dig his grave deeper, by say he wanted to point out "that there are two kinds of rape. There is stranger rape and there is so-called rape by somebody the woman knows."

You, Erikson, are a major league pillock."

http://www.thelipster.com/articles/3119462

O M G

Mr Dapper

2008-03-30T20:15:00.001+01:00

I snapped this lovely young gent wearing a truly amazing jumper

Just thought I'd share....

That is all.

Ballin'!

2008-03-21T21:36:00.001Z

We had a little present delivered to our offices this week: A brand shiny new silver disc for one of our bands - The Cribs

Have a look! > > > >

It makes me feel ever so proud :-)

IRIE!

2008-03-17T14:24:00.002Z

My Favourite DJ is playing at Cargo next week & I am so excited to see him!

His name is DJ Derek

Derek isn't your average turntablist - a former chocolate factory accountant in his 60s (at least!) with a major cardigan habit. He also MCs in Patois.

"Derek gave up his job in a chocolate factory over 25 years ago to dj in pubs and clubs to predominately black audiences He is sited as a major influence by Massive Attack and others who as young teenagers listened to his tunes through the window of the Star and Garter in Bristol where Derek had a 20 year residency Derek is a weatherspoons officiando he thinks nothing of coming up to London early for a gig then popping off on the coach to Birmingham to visit a new weatherspoons and then heading back to play that evening perhaps via two other weatherspoons on the way. He has visited over 600 of the 650 odd sites all over the country. The joys of cheap bus passes. The BBC have made two documentaries on Derek the most recent one made by BBC west had a surprise ending with Derek attending the unveiling of a plaque in his local pub (an ex Weatherspoons) to commemorate his services to the entertainment industry"

Going French For Eurovision

2008-03-09T00:25:00.003Z

I heard the most amazingly bizarre news!
Sebastien Tellier (who I think is just brilliant) is going to represent France at The Eurovision Song Contest!

O M G

If you don't know about Sebastien have a listen to this
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"La Ritournelle"

I saw him perform this song live a couple of weeks ago & it was amazing...

But what's he doing on Eurovision??!

He'll be performing his latest track "Divine" taken from his current album "Sexuality"

Usually Eurovision just washes over me & I don't pay it much attention, but this year I will be there! I will also be returning to my Gallic roots by backing a French win - my Gramps would be so proud! Were it not for Seb I would however be lending my support to my mum's side of the family & backing an Irish turkey called Dustin...?

Anyway, it'll be worth watching his performance - he puts on the most ridiculous faux-French accent & basically just takes the piss... I just watched one video where he drapes himself across the piano, then finishes by doing some press ups and lighting a fag.

He is also a Sex God. Official.

The Best Thing In The World

2008-03-08T23:15:00.003Z

The other week I was sent a video which I can only describe as Amazing.
It accompanies a song entitled "The Worst Thing In The World" by a band called Kunt & The Gang. I have now decided that it is, in fact, The Best Thing In The World.

If you're easily offended it's probably for the best if you don't watch it as it isn't to everyone's taste - it's quite rude! But I think it's hillarious...

>>>>>>>>>>>>

It's a catchy little tune

They have another song called "Fucksticks" which is even better, but this video swings it for me!

check it out on their myspace: myspace.com/kuntandthegang

You will find songs about Carol Vorderman, Fred & Rose West, Dr Fox & ummm... cranking

Foals "Cassius"

2008-02-26T13:21:00.003Z

This video is a bit mental but I think it suits the song perfectly
And what a song it is!

Cassius it's over
You're second best

I *heart* Foals

The album "Antidotes" hits the stores on the 24th March, it's worth waiting for; & although it doesn't feature either Hummer or Mathletics, it's still worth the £7.99 itunes fee :-)

Jack the Drummer is currently featuring alongside Agyness Deyn in Burberry's Spring / Summer campaign. Shot by Mario Testino & cast by Christopher Bailey.

Foals UK tour also kicks off next week - I can't wait - I've been waiting to see them for a while now, so hopefully I'll get to catch them at The Astoria on the 17th

KESHWEAR!

2008-02-25T19:59:00.006Z

As promised, here are the photos from one of my favourite people's very first catwalk show:

Proud Of You Girl!

I think this look was partially inspired by me cos that's how I wear my hair around the house! :-D

So fly - I love this jacket but it costs Dollaz to make :-/

err... he looks like a paedophile!

this boy is cute

This is my fave - love those sweats!

WELL DONE K______! *clap clap clap*

Watch the video here

Santogold

2008-02-24T00:32:00.005Z

I went to do some interviews with Santogold this week.
She's a US singer who's worked with the likes of Mark Ronson, Spank Rock, Diplo & Switch; & has been likened to M.I.A
So I headed down to the K West hotel in West London on Thursday morning for a chat with Santi...

Who are your musical Influences?
Bad Brains, Devo, Nina Simone

What are your style influences?
I really love old, cheap knock-offs, I think it’s hilarious, & I live in this neighbourhood where you can get them. I like a lot of vintage stuff, I like mixing crazy patterns & colours. I think that I dress the same way that I make music. Just a bunch of different influences & elements; & then I just mash them up all together.

What was your most extravagant buy?
I bought a really stupid car, I bought an Escalade, I didn’t know it was a rapper car either, I just like big trucks. I mean I really use them – it snows, I go snowboarding & I had a band. So I was really using the SUV, but it was dirty cos I really am not into nice cars, it was more like I’m into feeling big & tough when I’m driving, you know? Then this little 11 year old kid was like “that’s the ditchyest Escalade I ever saw!”

What was your favourite song whilst growing up?
The Smiths have been one of my favourite bands for as long as I can remember & I have this same CD, which is so scratched up, which I’ve had since a child that I still listen to at least once a month. The Smiths & it was called ‘The Smiths’, it was that CD. My favourite song is 'Still Ill', which is on there.

What do you want your listeners to feel when they’re listening to your music?
I want them to feel inspired to challenge themselves to not fit into any box. I want them to challenge themselves to be creative & to really think about who they are as individuals & what they have to say, you know, what they’re point is, as an individual - & not have anyone decide that for them

Listen out for her AA single 'L.E.S Artistes / Creator' - I really like Creator

I saw her live last December at Hoxton Bar & Grill & I was really impressed >>>>

She even got Spank Rock up on stage with her >>>>

(Juicy Gossip: When I was in New York over the Summer, I would see Spank Rock out quite a bit - he is totally bisexual. He would be hanging out in the club with his boyfriend, but then we would catch him staring at my friend)

Sebastien Tellier @ Rough Trade East

2008-02-24T00:01:00.005Z

I went to see Sebastien Tellier on Wednesday. He was doing an instore at Rough Trade East, so a few of us went down to watch him. I have a preview copy of his new album 'Sexuality' & I really love it. It's pretty much all I'm listening to right now. Oh & the cover artwork is amazing!

Anyway, here are a few pics (I was quite far back & the place was really full, so they're not the best...) >>>>>

He was so good! I am now slightly in love with him

When he did 'La Ritournelle' the entire crowd fell silent & just listened... It was quite a special moment actually...
he also performed 'Kilometer', 'Sexual Sportswear' 'Une Heure' & 'Fingers Of Steel' form his new album.

Schedules Suck

2008-02-15T15:01:00.000Z

My friend has her very first catwalk show this afternoon as part of London Fashion Week. I made her this picture to celebrate>>>>>

I got Mad Photoshop Skills!

The only thing is, I can't go!

I have to work this afternoon.... Boooo. I was supposed to have the day off to help her out with dressing & to take photos & shit, but unfortunately I've been off work sick these last couple of days, & I thought taking another day off so I can ponce about at a fashion show is probably taking the piss.... *sigh*
I feel really bad though - K___ called me last night to see if I was still coming & I had to say no. She seemed pretty disappointed... You need your friends for support at times like this & I feel like a bit of a rubbish friend :-(

When I get the pics from her show I'll probably be sticking them up on here, so keep your eyes peeled!

Dope Shit.

2008-02-13T19:06:00.000Z

Love This >>>>>

Check out Micachu's MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/micayomusic

She's a producer, DJ, remixer & she's the shit! Have a listen to tracks Golden Phone, Had E Nuf & Nice & Raw Mixtape 07. I think they are good
*^_^*

Hair DO

2008-01-27T23:31:00.000Z

"I Have always Wanted An Afro"

When I was little I would make my mum put my hair in loads of tiny little plaits over night. In the morning I'd brush it all out & go to school with my white-girls-afro. I loved it.

I think I may have to re-create this look again some time this week - Mum! get the mini hair bobbles out!

Dumbledore Is Gay: Official!

2008-01-27T23:29:00.000Z

If People Mag says it then you know its true!

Love This Jacket

2008-01-27T23:26:00.000Z

I *heart* this jacket

So Fly

I F H B A H F F (still)

2008-01-27T23:04:00.002Z

I really cannot stand bloody bono!

Here are just a few reasons why:

1. I hate his fucking face
2. He is a Tax dodger, despite being a dollar billionaire
3. His so called charity work is constantly exposed by African aid organisations as detrimental to the situation in Africa
4. He has chosen to be known by 'Bono Vox', the Latin for good voice, the actions of an egotistical prick.
5. He does not have a good voice.
6. He never takes his sunglasses off.
7. He contributed to Live Earth, an environmental event, but flew a fucking hat around the world.
8. He wears leather trousers, despite being podgy and middle aged
9. According to Thom Yorke (Radiohead), whenever they met world leaders together for Make Poverty History, whilst Thom Yorke was talking about reform, bono just acted like a buffoon, and posed for photos (such as making the frail John Paul II wear his stupid Fly sunglasses) making the actual negotiations next to impossible
10. They have made a church service based around their songs called the U2charist (blasphemy, surely?)
11. He gives Ireland a bad name
12. All of his fans are whining bastards

Also a few images to back up my feelings:

If you feel as I do, please join our facebook group:
'I Still Hate bono And His Fucking Face'
(http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6302929915)
Our original group ('I Fucking Hate bono And His Fucking Face) had over 12,000 members but was closed down so we are recruiting new members

Remember, b**o is a cunt.
FACT

Celine Dion Is Amazing!

2008-01-27T22:35:00.000Z

Oh yes she is.

Speechless.

Studio Time

2008-01-27T22:14:00.000Z

Kanye West loves K_______ so much he phoned us yesterday & invited us down 2 the studio 2 hang out with him & Mos Def..... so we went

Hit the studio around 8 & chilled for a bit & had sum food, then we went 2 help Kanye add the finishing touches 2 his album (which by the way is fucking fantastic) finally left at 5 in the morning after we started falling asleep
I WD LIKE TO POINT OUT HERE THAT IM NOT MAKING HIS SHIT UP, NOR AM I STILL SUFFERING JETLAG & DELUSIONAL

Check out the album - U may hear a familiar voice... K___ dropped sum lyrics on a skit... chatting about drunk girls...
I loved Mos Def more than Kanye tho
Here is a pic of me & him

Vogue Shoot

2008-01-27T22:08:00.000Z

WAAAAAHHHH!
I was allowed to tag along & help out on a shoot 4 Vogue on Thursday... it was fan-friggin-tastic! There were Louboutins & everything! (FYI- Louboutins are only the best shoes EVER... allow the Jimmy Choos...)
The shoot was to accompany an article about the Y___ night at N___ & they were featuring my girl K___ in the pictures as she is a regular. I was more than a little apprehensive about what to expect from the Vogue crew, but luckily they were all absolutely lovely - no attitude from a single 1 of them - I was expecting them 2 b a lil scary. In fact they were so nice we ended up in KFC afterwards with their features assistant, A____, b4 heading back to the club for the night.
The styling was crazy (in a good way)... K___ was looking incredible - & the heels made her oh so tall... just don't tell her she looks like either the Winehouse or Kelis, lol! Wanna say so much about it but dunno if I really can - don't wanna spoil the surprise... you'll jus hav 2 buy the mag & see 4 urselves, just know that it looked siiiiickkkk!!! However, being the shoe-fiend that I am, I will hav 2go in2 sum detail.... there was a crazy pair of red velvet ankle boots covered in gold studs, 6" red velvet stilettos & 6" inky blue velvet stillettos... normally I not a big fan of velvet but these were really beautiful.... I had to surreptitiously wipe my drool off them b4 anyone noticed! My cousin was telling me that I had to steal stuff, but I hardly dared to even look at it - some of the clothes & accessories must have cost thousands.... There was a keyring.... but stealing from Vogue? No way, I couldn't live with myself.....
However the highlight of the day/ year 4 me was when they used my earrings in the pictures - yes my fake gold, bought off ebay for a dollar, doorknocker pieces.... I have now taken them to be framed. My big ass gucci-link chain was going 2 b used too but it got rejected at the last minute... it is now hiding under the bed, hanging its head in shame....